Monday, December 23, 2013

The Most Notorious Question You Get Asked Post-Wedding

With the holidays right around the corner, I wanted to discuss a question that you as a newlywed, will get asked over and over again (especially at family gatherings).  Other than "How's married life?" the most notorious question is......"So, when are you guys having kids?"  While I understand the intent behind the question (family members are generally excited at the prospect of having the family expand), it can get pretty frustrating hearing this question all the time, particularly because it hasn't even been a year since we've been married.  Can we have a little bit of time to enjoy newlywed life please?!?! 

The most famous baby born this year / Photo via US Weekly
I also have a few things I want to do/accomplish first before bringing kids into this world.  I'm in the midst of starting a new business (more on that next month!)  I want to take a trip to Argentina (I've never been to South America).  I want to go to Coachella, which will complete my U.S. music festival trifecta (we've been to Lollapalooza and Austin City Limits).  And for the first time in my life, I want to get a real pet (I grew up with fish and plants, so Mr. M and I would like to get a dog next year).  And to put it frankly, I just don't have baby fever at this time.  This in no way implies that I never will, this just means that at this moment in time, I'm just not in the baby-making mindset.

And that should be okay.  I shouldn't have to apologize for it.  I shouldn't be made to feel awkward when some people then say "But you're going to be 30 next year!  Your biological clock is ticking!  You better start making babies now!".  I shouldn't have people scrutinizing my Facebook pictures to see if I have a drink in my hand or not.  Oh yes, it's gotten that awkward.

This question also frustrates me for married couples in general for a number of reasons.  First of all, in this day and age it's extremely presumptuous to assume that 1) a couple even has the ability to have children 2) a couple plans to have kids at all and 3) you will just announce to the world exactly when your bedroom activities will include pro-creation.

I could go on and on about this topic but I'd really like to know what those of you out there have experienced.  Are you tired of hearing this question as well?  How do you respond?  Do you give people an actual timeline or do you have a funny/witty response that will make people stop asking you?


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